Kingston Family Update
It’s been three weeks of this new normal. Three weeks of a familiar chaos that has been less chaotic than anticipated.
Brutally honest, I was a bit scared. I’ve said it a million times, but bringing Jack home was a difficult transition for me. And I half expected this time around to be the same.
But with an extremely thankful heart, we have all welcomed this newness in a beautiful stride.
James Michael joined our family in an early morning on Oct. 15. He came via c-section with nice loud screams flowing from his lungs. Few things in my life have been more emotional than hearing the healthy cries of my babies the second they joined our world and seeing the look on my husband’s face as he squeezes my hand.
Surgery was pretty routine. The spinal shot was the worst part, with me vomiting in my hair while strapped to the surgical table in close second (from the drugs). I’ll write his birth story the next time I get a quiet moment.
From the beginning he was mine. I was already a mother. Jack had trained me in. I had been preparing my heart as well as I could. Motherhood was oozing out of me this time around and I was able to welcome James into my heart readily.
He was a pro at nursing from the get go. I was the amateur. We are still figuring out how to not be awkward while nursing, but I know it will come in time.
Jack was pretty fascinated with his little brother from the start. He is always very concerned when James cries and wants to hold him frequently. Jack tickles the baby’s little toes and shows me his hair and eyes and nose and fingers. Since bringing James home, he has been the source of most of Jack’s kisses and hugs. Mom and dad are old news.
Jack did seem to be mad at me while I was in the hospital. He wasn’t allowed on my bed or really near me at all because he’s a rambunctious toddler and I was pretty fragile at that point. He clung to my mom and to Scott. Normally that would have heart my little mother heart but through all of this God has given me a calm and relaxed state of mind. I knew he would get over it eventually. He had to. I’m his mama and thats that.
It took a few days for Jack to understand that I wasn’t going to carry him whenever he wanted anymore. He now had to hold my hand if he wanted me to go to the kitchen with him. He had to walk up the stairs by himself. But while growing independent in a quick fashion, he clung to me the second I wasn’t holding or nursing James. He has become much more cuddly during nap time and bed time. Overall, the change for Jack wasn’t drastic. But nonetheless, he has done so incredibly well. He is helpful and throws the diapers in the garbage for me. He pushes his chair in at the table, takes his cups into the kitchen when he’s done, brings James his nook. I’m just so proud of him.
Scott has really stepped up helping me. I think he expected me to be a little more bat crazy than I am 🙂 He remembers last time, too. Jack is at a really fun stage for Scott right now. They can interact and play more. In the past month, Scott has said, “I love you, son” hundreds of times. I am thankful for him and his willingness to humble himself as a big strong man to tell this little boy that he is loved. That is going to leave Jack with unremovable impression for his whole life that will trickle down onto every person he loves in the future.
As for me, I’m in my bliss. I’ve never been more comfortable with my role as a wife or as a mother than I am right now. I will forever learn and shift in these roles and I still only know about 10% of what I’m doing raising babies, but I’m perfectly ok where I am.
I cannot fully express my thankfulness for my demeanor. For the calmness I feel, for the peace of mind I have. For the ease of adjusting to middle of the night feedings and early mornings. This is not of me. If I were doing this on my own, I’d be a wreck. I praise God for his steadfast hand on me. I feel it every day. I am surprised many times a day at how well our home life is going. And I am in no way bragging. Or saying this to make anyone feel bad. I am simply giving thanks where thanks is due. Thank You, Jesus. “But He gives more grace.” James 4:6
So this is just the tip of what has been going on with us. I have 3 weeks of James to write about as well as Jack’s 18 month update. Yes, I’m behind. But I’ll get there. I’m only writing now because James and I have stolen away while grandma Judy give all her attention to Jack at home 🙂