Sleeping baby

We were at the point where I was sleeping on the couch all night with a restless baby who was sleeping even less than I was.

We didn’t know, we thought it was some phase Jack was going through. Teething maybe.

But it became plainly ridiculous.

So Scott suggested letting him cry. I found the book “Sleep Easy Solution.” We merged our ideas together and started as soon as we could.

Basically, we began to form a bedtime routine. And then while he was still awake (very important) we put him in his crib, said we loved him and goodnight and then walked away.

I about crawled out of my skin those first few nights. It’s amazing Scott didn’t come out of it with a black eye for refusing a mother to her crying baby.

But we endured and the very first night he slept almost all the way though. I think he woke up once around three and not again until 7 a.m. It was amazing what a night full of sleep did for me. I didn’t know how much I needed it.

It took about two-three weeks, the initial crying became less and less. Now, I put him in his bed and he turns onto his stomach and is fine. I think he looks forward to it now.

As for our bedtime routing, it’s not much. We usually take a bath around 6 p.m., so we have our jammies on since then. Then around 8 we can tell he starts getting tired (when we started it was 9, then 8:30 and now 8, which could be even earlier.) We brush his teeth, make a bottle and go lay down in Scott and my bed. (Jack doesn’t have a “room” here in Williston – we have this middle room that would be used as a dining room but we have our desk and book shelf, have made it into a playroom and have Jack’s pack n’ play tucked in the corner.)

And then, this has become one of my favorite times of the day. Our bedtime. Jack and I lay down in the dark, snuggling while he sucks on his bottle. I Google Harry Chapin song lyrics (because I just can’t remember them all) and I sing songs to him. I think it’s comforting to Jack to hear me singing, but deep down it’s more for my own soul. I get to lay there with my baby boy, with my eyes shut and at the same time be 10 years old with my dad singing the same songs to me. It’s a God gift how the pictures of those songs in my head are the exact same now as they were back then.

10 & 11 months of Jack

My sweet baby,

I’ve been slacking on writing, and I apologize. The past few months you have come into your own little personality and it’s been so, so wonderful to watch.

You’re a little stinker most of the time. To heck with your toys, you’d rather play in the cupboards. You love pulling everything out, all the mixer attachments, bowls, measuring cups and pans, and then spin in a circle on your but while kicking and stepping on the mess you just made.

You also found the drawer where I keep the roll of garbage bags. And you pull them all out, and then kindly stuff them back in. And repeat, repeat, repeat.

Around month 10, we went through a yucky sickness. You somehow got RSV, a respiratory virus where you coughed and were wheezy. While you took naps, I strapped a nebulizer to your face to help you feel better. Other than that, you’ve been pretty healthy. You’re such a big boy. It’s a good thing that you’ll start walking soon because I can’t carry you for very long.

On that subject, you stand by yourself for short periods of time! Your dad and I are so proud of you when you do that 🙂 When dad is home he takes you by one hand (or arm) and walks you around. He says thats what you and I should be doing all day. You’re getting pretty good at it! It’s only a matter of time.

I think that my favorite thing you do right now is the way you try not to smile. You crinkle your nose and keep your lips squished together and I swear your eyes just sparkle. It melts my heart. I love you so much.

Some not so fun habits you’ve picked up are the way you scream/squeal when I take something away from you. It’s this nasty, evil squeak and you sound like a little snot. Which I know you’re not. So please quit doing that soon. I know I’m with you 100% of everyday, but already by scolding doesn’t hold a candle to daddy’s. When you’re getting crazy crawling on the couch and you reach up to grab the lamp, dad will say “heyyy” in his deep voice and it just sends you to tears. He’s a big scary teddy bear one, you better mind him little boy.

Speaking of dad, you are the apple of his eye. He loves you so, so much. When he comes in the door at night, you run/crawl to him and he says, “There’s my big boy!” The other day you climbed up his legs, onto the kitchen chair and then onto the table. You would have thought you just conquered Everest for how excited your papa was 🙂

This past week I’ve been getting things ready for your first birthday party. I’m so excited for it. Dad thinks I’m such a dork, but I love doing these little things.

Some other things you’ve been really enjoying lately are baths, throwing your magnetic letters in between the stove and the fridge, playing with grapefruits, crawling on mom and dad on the floor, throwing all the bath toys that are on the ledge into the tub, brushing your teeth and taking naps with mom.

Oh, and you now sleep through the night! We were having such troubles – you’d wake up 3-4 times a night and I’d end up sleeping with you on the couch or in our bed all night and neither of us were getting any sleep. Turns out that was all because we never (ever) let you cry. Even for a few minutes. So I read “The SleepEasy Solution” and we put our own twist on it, so now we have a bedtime routine (which I am really enjoying doing with you) and then you go to bed. A few whimpers lately, but you are out for the night. It’s been a God send. (More on that later.)

Anyway, I love you. We love you. When we first brought you home, it was like having a little stranger in the house. But now you are as much a part of this family as your dad or I. You bring me frustration (like when I have to practically sit on you to get your diaper all the way changed) but just one little sly smile from you washes all of that away.

Love you so much, buddy. Can’t believe you’re almost one.

Xoxxooox,

Mama

P.S. You are about 26 pounds right now. You lost some weight while you were sick but you’re not looking to fragile 🙂

2.18.13 Column

I have always tried to be mindful.

Particularly of others and how they feel. Because I know what it’s like to be sitting in the middle of a situation where I am totally and completely uncomfortable and there is no escape.

This past Sunday I was in the Streeter hall listening to the pastor of Recharge Church. If you haven’t checked it out, please do at least once. Every time I leave there understanding the concept he is speaking on a little better and different than I ever did before.

But like I said, I was listening to the sermon and he said that we spend most of our life trying to avoid humiliation and that is why we lie and cover ourselves up.

It makes sense. We have been doing it since the beginning of time and sin. We felt our shame and covered ourselves from those closest to us. Adam and Eve taught us the trade.

It is downright understandable to try to hide our deepest secrets from God. He is the ultimate judge and is to be feared. But he is also the see-all and know-all, so our attempts are in vain.

But everyday we hide who we are deep, deep down from those around us. From our spouse, from our friends, from our children. Because if they really knew who we were, we might lose it all.

Because as people we are so, utterly judgmental. Because somewhere along the road we thought ourselves mighty and above that high school girl who got pregnant, we thought ourselves better than the marriage with dirty laundry out in the open.

And then the pastor said this: “God never gives his kids permission to be the agents of consequences.”

Who am I, that I should spout your wrong doings back into your face when I have my own laying all around me.

I began thinking – am I a blessing or a curse to those around me?

My grandma Betty, who went Home to be with the Lord recently, was always a blessing. Ask anyone. If there was someone left out, she flocked to them to make them feel a part of the rest. She was an encourager.

In an email of sympathy from of friend of grandmas, it said, “Your whole family is a wonderful witness to the upbringing of your mom and dad. What great examples they were.”

Am I a good witness to the upbringing of my grandparents and parents? We are the legacy grandma left and I do not want that to tarnish. I am the legacy of my dad. My children will be mine.

And so who am I going to be today? Because I have a choice every single second to be a blessing or to be a curse.

No one ever said, “Oh great, we have to go see grandma.” She was an all around good human being. I want to be that way to the people in my life. I want to decrease their humiliation and increase my encouragement for them, I want to let them feel free, I want to leave the consequences to God.

I want the grace I have known from my Savior to spill out all around me and infect my son and my husband and my family and my peers.

“A mean person gets paid back in meanness, a gracious person in grace.” Proverbs 14:14

Back

Gosh, it’s been a while.

I love the days and weeks and months where I feel like I need to write all the time. But then there are times that are just dry.

A lot has happened. In a way. Grandma died. Peacefully, with three of her children by her side. Her funeral was happy and God-centered. Even in death I hope to be like her. I have a few things I need to write about her. Hopefully soon.

Life is in the process of continually telling our family that we are not in charge. Which is comforting and stressful and beautiful at the same time. I need to always remember that where ever we go or are stationed or live or love together that it’s ok, even though it may not be my wonderful ideal plan for us.

I also have plain ol’ fun things I want to write about to remember. Jack bear is just about 11 months old. He practically has grey baby hair. We are having a small birthday party for him at the farm, but I’m pretty excited. I’m making him a birthday hat and some pendant garland and have ordered him a giant smash cupcake. It shall be fun.

So, heres to hoping this writing streak stays a little while.

Until next time,

-e